Man Eats Himself After Bizarre Incident

A Millom man, Andre the Mole, as he is known around his home town of Millom, 39, decided to eat himself from the feet up after a dream. The vision began with an ethereal glow emanating from a previous weeks discarded Corn Flakes bowl and then rose, pausing only slightly to take a look at…
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Missing Mammal Mauls Millom Mum

On Thursday Evening a Millom Woman, who has requested to remain nameless, aged 35, was making her way to Barrow Train Station, when she entered Dalton Road and was confonted by a ‘… large, powerful, black haired animal.’ The Millom Woman said, ‘I’m a big fan of Sir David Attenborough, so I used his technique…
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