Francophile Askamer. I Am A Frenchman

The French Supreme Court today issued a decree that the Parish of Askam and Ireleth actually belong to them and they have demanded the return of their land. Their claim lies on the fact that during the Napoleonic era, while the major battles were raging across Europe, an elite unit of Napoleons Army landed on…
Read more

Askam Accepts Award

The Barrow Evening Mail is proud to announce that the Village has won a national award.  ‘Crazy Golf Course Free Village Of The Year’.  The sponsors of the competition were pleased to hand over the trophy to the Parish Council Chairman at a star-studded concert. The evening began with U2 taking to the Band Hall…
Read more

Turbine-Tastic For Furness

A shock announcement this week came from Cumbria County Council, when it declared that the new turbines, built off the Furness Peninsula, had a dual purpose: to create a green energy and boost the tourism potential of the local area. Their proposal states that the power created by the nearest twenty turbines would be fed…
Read more

Flashdance Back To The 80’s Grand Gala

Every now and then somebody comes up with that sensational idea that we all take by the hand and skip in time with. Mr Baskerville, aged 63 of Deal Ave, Walney, has applied for a grant from the Neighbourhood Forum to host an evening of Disco and Leg Warmers to celebrate the 30th anniversary of…
Read more

Ulverston Woman Moon Scam

A rogue email is arriving in the inboxes of surfers through out Furness.  The email suggests that you can be the proud owner of a rare piece of moon rock by just filling in the form supplied and emailing it back to the originator Mrs Gromper, aged 83, replied to the email with great excitement,…
Read more

Crash At Walney Aerodrome

Emergency services were nearly called out today after a horrific crash.  The incident started at 2.15pm and lasted for a whole fifteen seconds when an unnamed man scraped his alloy wheel against the pavement, sending the occupent into a state of mild surprise. Calmly reacting to the emergency, he stepped out of the car and…
Read more

Day Of The Dead Celebrated By Dalton Zombie

The Mexican Day Of The Dead is to be celebrated in Dalton by the rising up of 1000 zombies claims Dalton Man, James Swartz. The event will take place on November the 1st and 2nd, and will begin at sun down lasting for a full forty-eight hours. James has had over 40,000 leaflets printed warning…
Read more

Missing Mammal Mauls Millom Mum

On Thursday Evening a Millom Woman, who has requested to remain nameless, aged 35, was making her way to Barrow Train Station, when she entered Dalton Road and was confonted by a ‘… large, powerful, black haired animal.’ The Millom Woman said, ‘I’m a big fan of Sir David Attenborough, so I used his technique…
Read more