Barrow Man Misses Monumental Moment

Window Cleaner Falling
Window Cleaner Falling

A minor faux pas was today something of a huge global phenomenon as a short movie was sent around the world on all social platforms. Twitter had to reboot all of its servers, Facebook was left with millions of empty status updates about breakfasts and cats and MySpace was (as always) devoid of everything except tumbleweed, as nearly one billion people tried to stream the video.

Mark Gavertonson, 17, from Darwin Street, Barrow, was surprised to find the worlds media camped outside his house. After pushing past BBCs Mark Easton ¬†and kicking Emily Maitland he managed to push through the front door and take refuge in the living room. Mark, 21 called the Barrow Evening Mail and gave us the exclusive interview and photo shoot, although he wasn’t sure what was happening.

“I still don’t know what is happening. Why are they here?” Our Reporter explained the situation and logging onto the internet they showed Mark, 47, the video.

“I don’t know how I missed it” a shocked Mark, 23, blurted. While the video showed Mark just missing a lamppost as he was walking along, which he was aware of, he stepped backwards, one foot slipped off the kerb but then he failed to see a car in the background swerve to avoid Mark and crash into a wheelie bin. A cat jump out of the wheelie bin, giving the bin enough momentum to fall over spilling its contents, including an empty bean tin, which rolled off and caught under the foot of a pensioner causing her to fall backwards over her pull along tarten shopping trolley and in to a blow up paddling pool, that sent a plume of water high into the sky, knocking a seagull into a nose dive, with it landing on an electricity line, catapulting it back over the rooftops, where a couple of seconds later an audible cry of “Ow” was audibly heard. A dog run in and grab a packet of sausages from the shopping trolley; escaping, the dog jumping in front of a skateboarder who trying to take evasive action lands straddling a handrail and rolling off into a large pile of nettles. An angry man, holding a dead seagull, running around the corner, hitting the ladder of a windowcleaner, who lets go of his bucket to steady the ladder, which falls on the head of the Angry Man,

Mark, 52, sat shaking his head, stunned. We asked him further questions but he was speechless, literally. After stealing a couple of slices of bread and a packet of ham, some Flora (other margarines are available), a six pack of skips, a pork pie, a knife, a plate, a chair and a table, our reporter headed back to the office for a nice picnic.

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