Shocking Truth: Council Comes Clean

The Town Hall LSD

The Town Hall LSD

It has been revealed that the Town Hall does not exist and has not been there since 1973 when it was sold to an anonymous American business man. Anybody who has visited the building since then has been a victim of deceit and they should wipe the memory out of their memory before they start to believe it. Anybody still believing it will be removed from their family and placed in the reality suite in the Hidden Torture Hotel.

The Council, in its unflinching manner has created a separate crime for Family Town Hall Deniers where if a member of a family does not report a Still Believer then they will be made to pick two family members for a three year holiday in the Hidden Torture Hotel. The holiday will not feature flapjacks or custard.

A Council spokesperson stood on the non existent steps of the non existent Town Hall and admitted that all letters sent by the Council since 1973 had been coated in LSD. The LSD was designed to be absorbed by the micro sweat particles on the finger of the letter recipient and those touched by the letter recipient as they opened the letter they received. The Council has agreed that the truth should have been released previous to this but they wanted to keep it quiet.

The land that once held the Town Hall will slowly reveal itself as the LSD wears off. It is believed that some people might see an empty space and others may see nothing at all, this will be dependant on your own point of view. The Council will discover what is there by community consent by sending out postal ballots. The vote will take place in the following days after the following days.

The Council spokesperson finished on a positive note. If anybody wants to visit the old Town Hall they can simply astral project to Bucket, Nevada, US of A!

CD Smythton

One thought on “Shocking Truth: Council Comes Clean

  1. I got one of those letters! However I have not been able to open it and experience an LSD trip as I ate my own fingers some time ago.

    Is there an ‘Agony Aunt’ on the Barrow Evening Mail? It’s not because I need some advice it’s just that I’m in agony.

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