Barrow Borough Council has been at the forefront of a major attack today by constituents demanding answers to the questions that they were trying to ask. Mrs Fallowdish, 54, demanded a response to her questions regarding the state of the potholes outside her house, which are now gathering outside her house and causing all sorts of noise nuisance ranging from “Loud Hip Hop-pity music to aggressive belching, not to mention the obvious drug use.”
Mrs Fallowdish, 71 and her friend Miss Dallowfish, 27, marched in to the Barrow Evening Mail Headquarters supporting sandwich boards around their necks containing the remnants of a prawn mayo baguette and three bean wrap respectively, and shouted at the Receptionist, demanding to see the Editor. After making his way downstairs he was confronted by the two said women who continued on about the state of their domestic arrangements and the fact that they couldn’t sleep at night due to the obvious immigrant potholes. “Coming over here in their droves, they should be made to stay in their own countries roads.”
After a nice cup of Lapsang Souchong and a plate of chocolate danish they calmly explained that they had turned up at a Press Conference that should have been attended by the Mayor of Barrow and several of the Local Councillors. After three hours of complaint, demand and threats, the Editor only managed to get them out of the door by promising to bring the incident up with the Mayor at the next meeting.
The Editor, speaking to the Mayor, discovered that there had been no notification of a Public Meeting, or any informal meet and greets, or any steps outside of the office that day. She continued to say that there had indeed been no intention to meet any of the “… greasy, filth laden, lazy and God damned electorate. Why would we want to do that? We are Council Officials and not stupid enough.”
The Barrow Evening Mail managed to get in touch with Mrs Fallowdish, 39, and discovered that she had taken matters into her own hands and filled the potholes with a mixture of Porridge Oats and No More Nails.