Trump To Tour Town

Trump Fayre
Trump Outside Brewers Fayre

A leaked Wikileaks document from WikiLeaks has been leaked that shows UK Prime Minister Theresa May, 31, has extended the brief of the official invite to include a meal at the Brewers Fayre Restaurant on North Road. It is believed that she has been a regular traveller to the area, visiting under the nom de plume of Becky Brightblue, as she has developed a taste for their Beef and Doom Bar Pudding.

In the document released through a sub category on the main WikiLeaks site, it states ‘Due to the exceptional quality of the Pudding, it was deemed that the area should be included on the State Visit’ adding, ‘the Queen has also been told to attend as Trump and Prince Phillip will get on like a house of fire’. The meal will be a forerunner to the state banquet held in Buckingham Palace.

The Barrow Mayor and other official dignitaries have placed an official objection to the visit as they are not receiving an invite to the dinner; being Barrovians “there is a good chance that they will do something embarrassing without even realising it.” a Government Spokesperson said. The Mayor shrugged their shoulders and said “Fair enough.”

Our Reporter was despatched to Balmoral, where the Queen is in residence, to ask if she was happy about meeting POTUS Trump. In a candid statement, she told the Reporter, “Me? I don’t care. I get to eat swan, me.” And then she set the Royal Corgis on him for being an oik.

Mr Trump, in a tweet tweeted on Twitter last night stated, “It will be a good Pudding. The best Pudding. I know some good Puddings and this one will be great Pudding. God bless my Puddings.”, to which all his family stood around and clapped with their normal sized hands.

The Barrow Evening Mail will look forward to reporting on the event which will happen later in the year. Although we haven’t officially been invited we will have a good route through the bins once they have all left.

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