Askam Accepts Award

The Barrow Evening Mail is proud to announce that the Village has won a national award.  ‘Crazy Golf Course Free Village Of The Year’.  The sponsors of the competition were pleased to hand over the trophy to the Parish Council Chairman at a star-studded concert.

The evening began with U2 taking to the Band Hall stage, with their brand new single, ‘Crazy Golf Courses Are The Bain Of Our Lives.’  Next up, the Whinfield Gardens Pogo Dance Formation Team dazzled the audience with acrobatics beyond their age, using a medley of classic Sex Pistols tracks.  After a brief performance from the DSS (Dalemount Station Singers), the trophy was brought out onto the stage.  The 10ft solid gold representation of Venus eating cheese brought a gasp of astonishment. The Chairman beamed throughout the handover.  Addressing the audience, Askam’s Glorious Leader said he was proud to accept the award on behalf of the workers and looks forward to melting it down and going to Bali on the proceeds.

In the second half of the evening we were treated to the lovely Charlotte Church and her new backing band the Rising Steeples.  With renditions of ‘Long Haired Lover From Liverpool’ and ‘Sabbath Bloody Sabbath’, the Whinfield pensioners got up, then down, and up again, to some serious groove. The Headliners were all that we hoped… Bernie Clapton, the tribute to Ernie Clapton, who is the official tribute to Eric Clapton, played acoustic versions of ‘The Cheeky Song’, ‘Green Door’ and ‘Hiroshima Mon Amour’.

John Seddon, 65, won first prize in the raffle, collecting a toilet roll disguiser doll dressed in a silk wedding dress.  John was delighted and told us it was ‘better than his wedding day.’ The charity auction raised £3.76, which is to be distributed evenly between, The Mini Rugby, The Bowling Club and the Askam Branch of Jam Anonymous. Parish Council Tsar closed the evening complimenting the WI for a lovely spread and urging people to support the next competition ‘Greener Spaces For Bigger Buildings.’

Posted by Serenity Squelch

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