People frequenting Barrow Park may not have noticed the Ducks congregating in small packs around the Lake, but it has now been confirmed, by a mole, that there are factions at work. Each pack is out for full dominance of the Lake.
Although scarcely believable, we sent a reporter to the area to see if they could shed some light on the rumours. At first they were greeted with a wall of silence, but with verbal skill and cunning (and a loaf of bread) they managed to make contact with the Leaders of the factions.
In a midnight operation, nicknamed ‘Operation Midnight Operation’ the leaders and their closest of Generals were transported to the Barrow Evening Mail Offices. Over a table of Jelly and Custard Creams the discussions went deep into the night.
The problem came to the fore very quickly once every duck was around the table. The Islanders were complaining that The Edgers were using the same calling pitch as them, and now that it had turned to mating season, their females were getting confused and seeking comfort elsewhere. The Islanders felt that if the Laws of Olde were not abided by then civil war could not be ruled out.
The Law of Olde stated “Those that dwell on the Island are now and forever bound to the key of D. All calls must follow D with no exception. Those that dwell on the Edge are now and forever bound to the key of F. All calls must follow F with no exception”. However it also contained a line “All Ducks finding an empty Pot Noodle carton, must place this Holiest of Items at the foot of the Old Log.”
It was agreed that each group return to their allotted key, but the question of the stray ladies was another matter. Although The Edgers were reluctant to give any up, it was finally agreed that they needed to get something out of the deal, and so would implement a series of open border repatriation for any Duck who wanted it.
The Ducks shook wings and with great joy celebrated the efforts of the Barrow Evening Mail and expressed dismay as to the Councils lack of involvement and understanding of the situation.