Pie Jelly Given Freedom of Town

It was with a surprise announcement by Barrow Council that the Furness Folk of Furness had a surprise when the Council announced that the Jelly from a Pork Pie was to be given the highest honour the town could give. The Mayor said verbally, in a written statement, that because of the actions of the…
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Bloke Blames Bacon For Bash

Friday morning was a morning to forget for ASDA shopper, Albert Cluug, 44, as the butterfly effect became evident after having his food delivery delivered by ASDA. Albert first began to realise that he was in a widely understood physics theory when he crashed into a car that should theoretically¬† not be present. Albert, unmarried,…
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Crash At Walney Aerodrome

Emergency services were nearly called out today after a horrific crash. ¬†The incident started at 2.15pm and lasted for a whole fifteen seconds when an unnamed man scraped his alloy wheel against the pavement, sending the occupent into a state of mild surprise. Calmly reacting to the emergency, he stepped out of the car and…
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