Branjolina Bothers Barrow

Excitement rose today in Barrow Town Centre when it was announced that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would be a possible to open another new Tattoo shop. The owners, Grant Banana, 28 and Ivan Frog, 91, said they had been in touch with the celebrity couple and they were waiting for a reply. The Barrow…
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Revolting Ducks In Park War

People frequenting Barrow Park may not have noticed the Ducks congregating in small packs around the Lake, but it has now been confirmed, by a mole, that there are factions at work. Each pack is out for full dominance of the Lake. Although scarcely believable, we sent a reporter to the area to see if…
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Security Cats To Be Introduced Into Furness

Police Chiefs have informed us that due to spending shortfalls in the previous years budget there will be a radical approach taken to cover the Furness area. Although extra officers are set to take up a local position, they believe that this will not be enough. It has been promised by the late autumn, that…
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Francophile Askamer. I Am A Frenchman

The French Supreme Court today issued a decree that the Parish of Askam and Ireleth actually belong to them and they have demanded the return of their land. Their claim lies on the fact that during the Napoleonic era, while the major battles were raging across Europe, an elite unit of Napoleons Army landed on…
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