Saintly Secrets Secreted Silently

Jesus Marrow
Jesus Marrow

Our Reporter has been holidaying with a trip to the Vatican City, and after a few days of sitting around doing nothing much but picking at their feet, cleaning ears and nose and scratching their armpits, they decided they had had enough rest and began to look into a rumour that had been ‘doing the rounds’ in Askam. To their surprise they discovered that a local resident is on the list to become a Saint. The process involves the proving of miracles and the cataloguing of selfless acts that have taken place in their name. Although the Vatican has issued a warning of legal proceedings if we name the person in question, we can reveal that they are closely connected to the Parish Council.

In a document recovered by the reporter it states that one of the miracles in question is the creation of thirteen Marrows, all containing individual images of the disciples, plus Christ, at the table of the Last Supper. When placed around a cauliflower it is believed to make a full tableau depicting the religious event. The vegetables were presented at last year’s Harvest Festival celebrations, but the judges missed the significance, only saying, “They look a little on the small side.” The soon to be Saint took a picture of his vegetables and sent it directly to the Pope who endorsed the collection as definite proof that Jesus lived and preached in and around Askam and Ireleth.

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